Konfabulous

I missed this last night, so I am posting it now. A long time ago I posted about a program called Konfabulator. I loved this program. It was fun, easy to use, and surprisingly cpu efficient. Even on extremely slow computers it works fine. Yahoo! just aquired Konfabulator and is re-releasing it as Yahoo! Widgets. The cool thing about this is is that it is free now. It won't nag you to pay for the full version after 30 days. So now there is nothing to stop you from using this great program. Go download it.

In a command prompt far, far away

Through one of my romps through intraweb I found a pretty cool version of Star Wars. It is entirely in ASCII and goes pretty far into the first (Ep. IV) movie. In order to watch it assuming you are on Winblows, just click "Start", then "Run" and copy or type

telnet towel.blinkenlights.nl

into the prompt and click "Ok". Enjoy.

Also as any cool kid as myself should now, pressing "R" while holding the Windows key also opens a Run prompt.

On a seperate note, if anyone reads this blog and knows a bit about routers and more importantly how they affect Xbox Live please contact me at john.outwater@gmail.com because just recently my router has begun acting up again. This really bites because the new Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory co-op maps should be coming out in the next couple of weeks, and more specifically the problem I am having prohibits me and Patrick from playing together. And those maps look pretty hardcore so I better be able to play them, or else...

How do you think Patrick keeps his lovely grin?

cozmicfool516: hold on
cozmicfool516: i feel swweet corn tryin to make it thru my rear
cozmicfool516: brb

You askin or you tellin?

Cause no body tells Boxy Brown...

Bustin this joint

Once again, I will not be posting for some time. I am going on "vacation" for 2 weeks starting tomorrow. I will have a very limited amount of time on the computer through out these weeks. So odds are I won't post, and if I do imagine them not only to be craptacular, or crap frenzy, or even craptrocity, but crapamanjaro.

So until next time, well, we all knew it was going to happen sooner or later.

The scary scary hotness

Ok, I'm back, and contrary to popular belief I am not better than ever. With school practically over I have the whole summer to enjoy the warm weather, outdoors activities, partake in athletics, find a partner, and heck, maybe even work off some of extra weight gained throughout the school year.**Waits for laughter to stop**

What I will be doing is playing video games like the uber cool cat that I am. Like the Trix cereal rabbit(Patrick) I too have Conker-Live and Reloaded. What is so great about the game is that one would assume it is all cute with a smiley faced rodent on the cover. However you spend most of your time in mountains made of fecal matter and dismembering the undead or Nazi teddy bears. The single player is definitely dated, which is expectable considering the fact that it is a remake of a N64 game. That is not to say it is bad, but you can tell the game wasn't made to the full potential of newer games. It is part platformer which fares pretty well. The camera is a bitch at some points but overall is it good.

The other portion is third person shooting which is pretty fun. When fighting undead squirrels you don a shotgun. For fighting the German nationalist plush toys you use a machine gun. And while it is extremely short, there is a very fun Matrix part.

If that was all there was to the game, I wouldn't recommend it but that was just the single player. The multiplayer is a whole nother game. It is a class based game where you play in objective based levels. While some people might run into connection problems **Points at Patrick using the power of interweb** it is a great addition to an already good game. For anyone who has it Fatal Furry is a very good site with some good forums and a lot of info about the game.

And if you were to get bored of that game there are many other things that can keep one busy.

Out for lunch

Ok, instead of being a dick and just not posting for a couple of days, I will first say I will not be posting for a couple of days. Then I will be a dick. Same action, different order. I am having finals. And that isn't the bad part. Without getting too indepth, I am going to be busy, you know, manual labor, using commas with reckless abandon, etcetera. So if any posting will happen it will be from the lord of the dance (A.K.A. Patrick).

But I don't want to leave you empty handed so I decided to share some art of mine with all of you. By using interweb and art.com I was able to uh, express myself. As shown in these pictures...

I tried to focus on what I didn't draw

She was never seen again

What they didn't want you to see

If anyone wants to share some of their art with us, leave it in a comment. To get the link, after drawing your picture, hit "save and send". There you should see a link saying "If you'd rather not send this painting to your friends but would like a link anyway, click here" Click there, copy, paste, post.

At least I have chicken

LEROY JENKINS!!!

After a quick number crunch we have a 32.33% (the three repeating of cource) chance of hilarity.

And since one must give props where props are due, props for the video go out to Flex Master Weir.

Patent Pending

You know, sometimes very simple ideas can change the world. The guy who one day thought, hey why not make a toilet seat that heats up to prevent frost ass changed to world for the better. And sometimes Patrick has these moments of pure, um, genius, as shown in this conversation.

cozmicfool516: hey, why dont prinnters print stuff out back wards?
cozmicfool516: u know so it comes out with the first page on top
SpazMuffin803: i dont know
cozmicfool516: idiots
cozmicfool516: we cudd revolutionize the printer industry
cozmicfool516: then we could have it that wenever ure yellow ink cartridge is runnig low, you get herpes
SpazMuffin803: damn
cozmicfool516: ?
SpazMuffin803: my yellow is lo...**HERPES!**
cozmicfool516: billy, you dumb fuck, stop drawing the yellow ranger in ms paint. no! don't print that!
cozmicfool516: yellow lo HERPES

Sounds good to me.

My little green friend

Post script, if anyone finds an animation of the last picture please tell me where I can find it.

Ownage x 2

Yesterday Patrick and I finished the co-op portion of Splinter Cell. I must say I am very impressed with it. While we were forced to save almost every minute do to the fact that the game gets dropped very often I still enjoyed it. However I am almost positive it is due to Patrick old Thompson xbox. But even with the occasional dropped sessions the game is extremely entertaining. You find yourself really having to work together to get anywhere. Or you can read an online walkthrough... Not to mention having a guard walking straight at you only to be capped by your teammate is so great. And two words, Tomo Nage. Throwing your teammate over your knee is just freakin awesome. However, I only seemed to be able to do it when you needed to, not just to knock out guards, which was disappointing.

But the co-op does have a problem, and a fatal one at that. My only complaint is Panama. That level is so friggen annoying. I hate it and every pixel of it's being with the blazing hatred of a thousand suns. Hey, howabout we make a level with 400 identical rooms, 200 of which are pointless? Sounds great...asshole. Honestly, it is boring, not fun, and a poor way to introduce the player to the game (not including the tutorial).

Rumors have stated that new co-op levels will be released via DLC, and I can only hope it isn't much longer till they are released. As to how they will fit in with the story, considering the current levels play parallel to Sam Fisher's escapades, I do not know. But frankly I do not care, just let me tomo nage and pull of inverted neck breaks and I will be happy.

**Head Explodes**

If you go on any forum lately it is an all out war between 360 and Ps3 fans. Honestly, it is insane and sad. Now I love Xbox, but I really thought the PS3 would be "better" hardware wise.

However after "reading" this article, I am not so sure. For one, it is some seriously hardcore stuff. I mean I know the basic, CPU's, GPU's, RAM etc. But this gets really in depth. However, for those of us who have no friggen idea what the hell 48-way scalar floating-point shader pipelines are, there are bar graphs. Ah, the bar graph, easily displaying information with all the fun of a vertical or horizontal line. Ya gotta love it. But pretty much what it is saying is the the 360 is better than the PS3 in many regards. So I guess that's it. The 360 is better, end of story.

Ha, gotcha there for a sec, heh? One little thing, the comparison was written by "Major Nelson", someone who works for PR in Microsoft's Xbox division. While I doubt he is all out lieing about the specs, there may be a tinny little bit of bias in there.

And uh, Revolution. Yeah. That's about all I know about Nintendo's new system. With the amazing ability to play old nintendo games... Yeah, Nintendo going retro, there's something new. And speaking of backward compatibility, the 360 will, I repeat WILL play Xbox games.

Well, aside from videogame stuff, I saw Star Wars. And wow. It is great. Fantastic, Greatasitic if you will. While it may not be a "The Empire Strikes Back", it is an amazing movie. And I will post more about it later (Don't worry no spoilers, until next week), but I am off to see it again. So in the meanwhile go see the movie, or I'll lay eggs in your stomach, I mean it!

The thrilling conclusion

Ok, well I said I would post again, but I really don't have much else to say about the 360 other than the fact that is a very ghey name. The main reason I like Xbox was because of its superior hardware, and unfortunately this system won't have that advantage. However the whole Xbox Live system seems to be really awesome. That is one of the things I loved about this system. It was so organized and had a clean feel to it. While I doubt the PS3 will make the same mistake it did with it's previous system, I still feel as if Microsoft really hit the proverbial nail on the head with Xbox Live.

But what do you care about Xbox 360, it won't be out for another 6 months. In the meanwhile why don't you learn something about the greatest guy who ever ripped off his own left nut and made a hole-in-one in Adolf Hitler's mouth from 400 yards away, Vin Diesel.

The most fun you've had with a circle

Tonight at 9:30 I believe (Eastern Standard Time) MTV aired a special unveiling the Xbox 360 for the first time (unless you count all the leaked footage that came out before today). Xbox.com has changed in order to get ready for the new console which is still half a year away from launch. It looks like a very good system so far. Impressive hardware, a promising online setup, and kinda meh lineup of games all sound like they can lead to a pretty successful launch. A lot of sites have info about the 360, but I find TeamXbox's to be the most informative. I have more to post, but it is late and I must make like a 50 year old Mexican trans-sexual prostitute and go to bed. I will be sure to put more content up tomorrow.

Beg pardon?

Over the cource of a day of surfing the world wide interweb, I have some odd converations with Patrick. Well I thought who am I to deprive the world of such disturbing and mindless drivle? So from now on, Patrick and I will post random quotes from our conversations hopefully pretty often. We will still do regular stuff, but these will provide as shameless excuses for half-way decent posts. Enjoy.

cozmicfool516: well, ure doing a bad job
SpazMuffin803: Thats what your mom said
cozmicfool516: yea, iwas there

**Exhausted moan**

Four words can describe my past 2 weeks. Good golly, Miss Molly. For any of you who know about A.P. exams, then you know they were created by Satan himself when he got bored one Tuesday night because it was raining and his satellite T.V. went out and he couldn't watch "Gilmore Girls". Especially A.P. European history. I have been studying for two weeks and I probably still did terrible. The sheer amount of protein that was dedicated to my brain rendered me sterile for the past two weeks. I thought my ovaries were going to implode, but now my sperm count is raising at an almost frighteningly fast rate. God, sometimes I wish paper towels were included.

But that is my excuse for not posting. Now this is going to be a pretty crappy post because I have no new material. Some new stuff for Halo 2 like new playlists have been released to hopefully increase Halo 2 online ratings. But I still love UC2, lately my online experience has been flawless. However I know it greatly depends on your xbox. For instance my newer xbox plays it pretty well, and Patrick's old launch box begs for death as soon as the game enters the tray. Also I really want to play Splinter Cell co-op online lately, but Patrick and I can no longer join each other's party. I think it has to do with my crappy router. Note to self, if you find a router on sale for $15, don't buy it. It may have to do with us living close to each other or some stuff like that. If anyone can help, email me or leave a comment.

Ok, well like I said, I have no material, I just didn't want you guys (all 2 of you) to think I died, or did I? Wait, no, I didn't. If possible I will try to post tomorrow (emphasis on "try"). Until then, remember America, kangaroos don't take kindly to anyone over the age of 47 eating cole slaw out of their marsupious pouches.

What is a...

manamana?

Proving Pat right since 2005

Hey, would you look at that, I am making a post about how great Unreal Championship 2 is. Well, what can I say. The core gameplay hasn't changed since the demo, and the demo was rock solid. The additional weapons are great, considering my two favorite weapons weren't in the demo, the shotgun-esque flak cannon, and the ever popular shock rifle. I seem to be flying through the single player which isn't that bad (especially because I changed it to novice for one level, then forgot it was on and beat one more level with it). The story is engrossing and since the game moves at a lightning fast pace (and from the looks of it will be over at one too) the story keeps moving enough to keep you interested. And I haven't given up hope on Apophis just yet...

Anyway, that's not what Unreal is about. I tried playing online for a little bit. It is pretty good except for one match that was lag-tastic. But the host didn't know his upload speed so he was probably just hosting, not being aware that his connection fornicated with several donkeys. One thing I knew before the game came out was the games ommision of Live 3.0 features (voice messages, clans, etc) While it still works, I just liked having all those features even if I didn't use them. Hopefully lag will decrease and I didn't play on any dedicated servers yet. And maybe if Jared (Darkness) wanted to use his super Jesus black magic internet and host some games...

Oh yeah, I also played Halo 2 after the update was released. I noticed that melee was stronger and dual wielding was weaker. Not so much about nades. However the game still felt lame. You have to whore, camp, rinse, lather, repeat in order to get anywhere. Not to mention having teammates with the mental capacity of a sasquach fetus with down syndrome sure as hell doesn't help the situation. As for a link, you can find some videos of the yet to be released downloadable maps here.

What was old is new again

Splinter Cell rules. Unreal will rule. I thought nothing would bring me back to Halo 2 but boy was I wrong. In their Weekly What's Update Bungie tells of how they are pulling an "out with new, in with the old". They are changing Halo 2, and for the better, by making it more like Halo 1.

Some changes include decreasing the grenades fuses and making grenades stronger (which also affects the brute shot). Melee will be much more powerful, and moves such as a jumping melee will almost always be lethal. Certain dual wielded weapons are weakened, such as the SMG, plasma rifle, and magnum.

In short, they seem to be listening to the huddled masses of Halo 1 fanboys. I can't wait for the changes, and luckfully I won't have to wait long. Why you ask, because the auto-update will be released through out the course of this upcoming Monday(The same day UC2 comes out, decisions decisions). Excited? Yeah, I am too.

P.S.- How many gay men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five, one to screw it in, and four others to say, "Fabulous!"

Genius

"these guys are messing with you Sisko

what you do is tie a noose in a six-foot length of rope, tie it to a wooden slat on a ceiling, climb up onto a chair, place the noose around your neck and jump off of the chair, essentially strangulating yourself, unless the drop breaks your neck

simple enough"

The post can be seen here.