Two for the show...

Can't talk much again. Just posting a LINK to an awesome Unreal Championship 2 movie. You might call it a spoiler but it is just part of an early cut-scene, don't worry. Also, the guy who is speaking throughout the whole thing is foreign. I don't know what he is saying, but I don't really care.

P.S.- Can your cleaner do this?

One for the money...

I am just posting this link now so I won't forget. I know it is sort of old, but tough. I'll comment on it later. All I will say is ElonGAYtion looks like it could be good, that is if it wasn't having sex with 5 men at once.

P.S.- Pat, quit being such jerk face and post already!

SC:CT = Teh roxors

I can't begin to describe the hotness that is Splinter Cell. I haven't finished the single player yet but I will say as of now (UC2 is coming) this is my most favoritist game ever. The story is cool, the graphics are great, and everything else about it plain old rocks. I don't want to get too in depth for fear of giving away a spoiler of something.

Co-op is great. Patrick and I have played it a couple of time and at first were met with some "problems" such as being dropped from our session every couple of minutes. But when we did get into it, it was great. Except for how I set off 4 alarms... Aside from that the co-op moves are great. I love seeing a guy walking towards me only the get bitch-owned by Patrick from the rear. And having 2 highly trained spies exchanging orders such as, "Pat, drop that black man like he's hot" is just, as I said before, teh roxors.

But, I do have a problem with this game. It is more my fault than it's but I cannot play the Spies Vs Mercenaries part of the game. I just can't. Since I haven't played Pandora Tomorrow's version of this I am way behind compared to veterans of that part of the game. Also, I just don't like it. Being a spy sucks. There are cameras and motion detectors everywhere. I can't take two steps with out setting off some alarm. Being a mercenary is not as bad though. I enjoy having a shotty and waiting for the spies to come to me. But the levels are so big and intricate and you only have one other team mate to help you. I know many other people love this game, but I just don't.

Aside from me sucking at the SvM mode, this game is great and is an early contender for game of the year. And let me say, an inverted neck snap is the most satisfying thing you can do in any game. As shown in this picture...

Invite'em if ya got 'em

For those of you as interested in UC2 as I am you can find a couple of movies showcasing some real gameplay HERE. I don't know where it came from but it certainly looks great.

Also I was very disappointed to find out that no stores near me are selling Splinter Cell 3 today. If you spend 2 seconds on any SC:CT forum you can see that it has been released in certain areas already. I am nervous about this game because aside from not owning any of the other Splinter Cell games, I feel as if I am going to be a major n00b when it comes to the Spies Vs Mercenaries mode. I have watched Patrick play it and it seemed so nerve wracking. It is dark, and quiet, and you pretty much have to memorize every aspect of the map you play on in order to get anywhere in it. But I hope it won't be that bad, because I certainly wouldn't want be "analized" every time I attempt to play.

And know I have offered this before, and I know it is hardly "exclusive" anymore and almost everyone has one, but if anyone is interested in a g-mail invite leave a comment on this post with your email or drop me a line at john.outwater@gmail.com

DLC - Whoop-de-do

I know this information is late but I just haven't had time to post it. As many of you know Bungie has released official information concerning Halo 2 download content. Their article can be read HERE.

However to make things short, there are going to be 9 new maps.

2 free maps and 2 premium (cost money) maps are going to be released in late April. The two premium maps will cost $6 (for both).

Then on June 28 the 5 remaining maps will be released. This package will cost $12.

At that same time a disk which can be bought for those without Live will be released. The disk will cost $20 and contain all the maps, an auto-update that will fix common glitches and cheats, and some extra stuff (documentaries and crap).

And by the end of summer all of this content will be available for free on Live, guaranteeing everyone can play in all the updated matchmaking playlists.

Now, for someone like me, I have taken a long break from Halo 2. With games like SC:CT and UC2 on the horizon I doubt I will get that back into Halo 2. I will buy all the content online and I will probably buy the disk for the extra stuff and just to have it. But, I must say these maps (at least from the few released screenshots) look very impressive. Especially "Turf" a barren city map. However I think Bungie is taking to long to release this. I know they want to get rid of all the glitches and make sure these levels don't turn out like every other level in the game. But by waiting for the release of such great games mentioned previously I think they might lose a lot of people. Not that it matters because there will still be millions that play.

But I will say, I am WAY more excited about Unreal than this new content.

The new hotness...s

Ok, to start off with, Halo 2 is fine and all, but it got old, quick. And even though download content is on the horizon, I doubt it will make matters that much better. But fear not, because in the next month two of the greatest looking games of all time come out. And luckfully there are demos of both of them in the March edition of Official Xbox Magazine.

Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. This game looks amazing. The graphics are insanely awesome, and really shouldn't be able to be generated on the Xbox. It looks like a fully loaded Alienware PC would struggle with it. And it has gameplay to back up all the good looks. With the new co-op mode and the returning Spies vs. Mercenaries mode, this game looks like it will keep anyone busy online or off. Not to mention hanging from a pole above an enemy and snapping their neck while belting out an "Oh snap!" is so satisfying... and sad.

While SC:CT boarders on real life level of realism, Unreal Championship 2 is an overly violent and fantasy based shooter. Now I really shouldn't have to explain much more because if you are reading my blog odds are you found the link on a forum. And if you have the spare time to read a gaming forum you should definitely know what the Unreal francaise is about. However UC2 is unlike any other Unreal game, so I guess I did have to explain it. Imagine Halo, on crack, and no vehicles. I know that sounds like a bum that lives in the downtown district of **Enter name of where you live here**. However it has the option of a 3rd person mode and the ability to use melee combat. And I'm not talking shotgun butt to the face melee, I mean Cryostaffs and Energy swords choppin' the competition into little delicious bite size pieces.

With SC:CT being released March 31st (can vary on where you live), UC2 on April 18(if it isn't delayed anymore), and Halo 2 download content...eventually, anyone with an Xbox and a Live subscription should be kept more than busy for the next couple of months.

P.S.- I just saw that sour Skittle's commercial with the sour man. I love that man, I love him good.

Short and...

simple. Two words describing Patrick. If he doesn't post soon I'm going to go jack-o-lantern on his ass.

Fashionably late

Ugh, I am such a bitch. I know I promised a post on either last Saturday or last Sunday, and I didn't. Oh golly, I know I'm going to be walking down the street and some random naked 40 year old man who reads my blog is going to get all mad and own me. Oh well, now that both me and Patrick are back expect me to snap out of my non-posting ways. And before I forget, expect very soon a tribute to one of the most famous pixel blasting spaceships. Props go to Pat for the following game which is about this countries national pass time, hitting Japanese people with bicycles.

Ok, it wasn't that great of a post but it was better than nothing so hopefully my tribute will be tribute-tastic and Patrick will post. Until next time I leave you with a very unhappy cat.

Passing glance

Wow, this week has been crazy. Non-stop homework, tests, and essays. I don't think I have ever gone this long without updating and unfortunately this is going to be steaming shat of a post. But on the bright side I will probably be able to put together a half way decent post sometime over the weekend. And don't expect anything from me or Pat all of next week. So until either Saturday or Sunday I leave you the wisdom of white ninja.

P.S. I am getting rid of those Halo 2 stat trackers for now only because they are spreading the template and messing the site up. Until I can fix this, if you must know our stats for me check out my gamertag SpazMuffin and for Patrick check out Pooch 516.

Why didn't I think of this?

Over the past couple of years great strides have been made in the field of automotive technology. Televisions built into the car, seat warmers, GPS. However it just takes a simple invention to revolutionize the car as we know it. And its name is the Trunk Monkey. It can handle various activtivites, most importantly flinging feces. Love the trunk monkey, embrace the trunk monkey, have the trunk monkey's childeren.

Was it worth it?


Cat: I should have killed you when I had the chance...

Picture from http://brian.is.a.rootboy.net


The ugliest thing ever...I can't

Posted by John
Created by the warped fragile mind of Patrick

Grin and bear it

Some people find very specific things funny. For instance some prefer the dry humor of the British. Others prefer slapstick, poop jokes, or dark humor. I find anything involving bears and great heights amusing, and I don't know why. Somehow these wacky bears got into some of the funniest situations I have ever seen that could only be funnier if the bear was replaced with an elderly woman. Whether or not their adventures involve trampolines or electrical cables they always manage to inflame my kidneys with laughter. Oh crap, there goes the right one...

Forget everything you thought you knew about this blog

Wow, it has been like a kerjilion days since I posted. Ok, well I'm back, for now. Lets see what's new. Oh yeah, episode 46 of RvB came out, and it is a pretty good episode. And over the past couple of weeks all the cutscenes from Halo 2 have been posted on HBO and now they are all there. You should check them out. Patrick, the other resident blogger, found a game full of pretty fun games, our favorite being Chuck. After playing Chuck, you should start your path to enlightenment and find out what the Helix is. Ok, lets see is there anything else cool and/or important going on. Oh yeah, on a serious note everyone should donate as much as they can to help the families affected by the recent tsunami. More info can be found here. Also, iTunes users can donate stright from their account in the Music Store. On a very, very different note, if you love black men and snow you will love, this thing. Man, look at that update, it has more links than Jimmy Deans' house of sausage. Ok, well I'm spent, done, je m'appelle completed, donde esta finished. Hopefully that lazy punk Pat will post, because I think my left kidney just gave out.

The best Kwanzaa ever

Oh wait, did I say Kwanzaa, I meant the real one, uh, oh yeah Christmas. Mp3s, DVD, and good ol' video games is what it was all about. First of all, I got an iPod mini. It rocks, out loud, well maybe not out loud unless you turn the volume up really high but you know what I mean. It just looks so cool, and the click wheel deely works really well. If you need a Mp3 player and you don't have over 1000 songs buy one. Now. DVD-wise, the basics like Lord of the Rings, Spider-Man 2 and all that jazz. I love my [adult swim] DVDs. Sealab season 1 and Aqua teen season 2 are great. And on Febuary 1st The Brak Show season 1 comes out, w00t. As for games I just got 2, but they are great. KOTOR 2 and Viewtiful Joe 2 for Gamecube. If you liked KOTOR 1 you will like KOTOR 2. And words cannot describe Viewtiful Joe 2. www Wait, yes they can. It is so cool. The action is super fast and frantic. But when it gets too hectic, put it in slow-mo and and put on zoom and start kicking cinematic rear end. But it is far from easy, as my 7, wait 8 bleeding ulcers will prove. Over all it was a X-tastic X-mas. Oh yeah, and to spread the X-mas spirit (late but what are you going to do) RvB made their own Christmas special. And if you didn't hate Church before now, you will after watching this video.

The joy of colors

In my daily romp around the world-wide interweb I came across this iPod mini commercial. It is not official but it is really cool. Considering my age, I was not around during the 60's, a time when colors had flavors and the walls were melting at all times but if I was, I would imagine life would be like this commercial. It is pretty trippy and is worth 60 seconds of your life. And if this leaves you starving for some more interweb goodness, why not boil a few a good taters?

**Awkward Silence**

...
There is nothing to post about. Nothing, at all.
Oh yeah, a sort of new RvB is out.
By the way if any of my wonderful readers know a link or something I don't, post it in a comment.
And uh, yeah, that's about it.

Distractions Galore

While reading halo.bungie.org I came upon a post that said a windows version of Konfabulator was released. For those of you who are Mac users you probably know what it is, but for those who don't or for PC users, it is a program that allows you have "widgets" which are little animation thingys on you desktop. For instance I have 4 on right now, one that tells me how many seconds I have been alive, one telling me about my CPU's performance, one telling me the weather, and one of the character Gir from Invader Zim dancing. So as you can see they go from useful to just fun. Now these widgets are constantly pulling power from your CPU but I am surprised by how little it does. Even on my crap ass 1 Ghz, 128 Mb of Ram computer, my computer runs just as slow as it normally does with out them. I recommend just trying it out, odds are you will like it. New widgets are created all the time and if you have the time and the skill, you can even make your own. You can download the program HERE.

Katamari Noguchi

This weeks Bungie Weekly What's Update can be found HERE. It addresses some problems many xbox Live users have been getting, not to mention kick ass tribute to Katamari Damacy.


On a separate note, I have been doing much reading of the Halo 2 forums and there is a considerable problem on all of them. The noob who feels the need to make topic based off of the intelligent comment of, "tEh PIztol wUZ T eh PWns , bUngE iS MAdsz gAy". To anyone who has done this, make the world a better place and kill yourself, or go back to Halo 1. Hey, and if you are in the mood, why not both?

Hungry?

Today's specials are eggs and strawberries.

P.S. Whatever all of Japan is smoking, it has to be some pretty hardcore stuff.